No Milan for Malan
I wanted to title this episode review Angela's Ashes, but since her backstabbing bitchery was not given the 'Auf Wiedersehen' this go around, the title goes toMalan.
Season three episode two began with the designers selecting their models. Poor Candace was the last one standing and asked to leave.
After this Heidi told the designers their challenge involved creating something for an American fashion icon. This icon was none other than Tara Connor last years recipient of Miss USA 2006. I would hardly call her a fashion icon, but this is must see tv folks, so they're going to paint some pretty broad brush strokes here.
The task was to design a gown for Tara as she was gearing up to enter the Miss Universe Pageant. Apparently Miss USA wasn't enough.
Candy Kayne practically lost his mind as chiffon and chintz are his thing. I wouldn't be surprised if he has a suitcase full of dolls that he brought with him, with whom he lines up and consults during each challenge. Jeffrey's observation of the whole Jon Benet Ramsay element was pretty funny too, but he needs to put his hood back up though. His tattooed neck scares me.
The designers began their sketches and subsequently presented them to Tara. During this, Angela cooked up a scheme where she thought it made perfect sense to bend the ear of prom dress designer extraordinaire Candy Kayne. Of course this completely shut him off and would subsequently bite her in the ass, but I'm getting ahead of myself here.
Time was up and the designers consulted with Tara to pitch their ideas. She looked completely amiss while speaking with Vincent, but that could have just been the editing. Then again, he's crazy as the day is long so maybe it wasn't.
Tim Gunn and Tara met with the designers and revealed the twist. They would be working in teams to create said pageant dress. One would be the lead designer and the second would be their assistant. Part of this challenge was to critique the designers on how well they worked together. Tara announced her picks for the lead designers and they are as follows: Laura, Uli, Candy Kanye, Vincent, Jeffrey, Malan and Keith.
Tim pulled out his magic velvet bag from which he randomly produced the names of the designers who had been chosen as leads. The team pairings were as follows:
Laura and Michael
Uli and Bonnie
Candy Kanye and Robert
Jeffrey and Alison
Malan and Katie
Keith and Bradley
Vincent and Angela
I loved the voiceover of Uli saying "I never verked in a team, I alvays do everything myself, I don't even know other designers" how very Marlene Dietrich.
The teams were given $300 and sent off to Mood fabrics. Of course Candy Kanye went for the iridescent chintz and glitz. Angela was bitter she had been paired with Vincent and attempted to micro-manage him.
The designers arrived back at Parsons where Angela and Vincent escalated their bickering.
Malan tells his Cinderella story of drawing dresses and showing them to his mother who belittles him and throws them on the floor. I picture him as a pasty faced little boy in a house with a big grandfather clock in the hallway.
They begin to place their fabrics on dress forms and Vincent tells Angela to back off at least three feet. If I were her I'd listen, he's certifiably cuckoo and armed with a pair of scissors quite possibly fatal.
Malan's dress is too heavy and looks like something out of a John Singer Sargent painting.
The next morning Tim Gunn with hands firmly on hips tells the designers to send the models off to hair and makeup. They will have three hours to send them through the L’Oréal Make-up room and the TRESemmé hair salon.
The models are prepped and judges revealed. Vera Wang is sitting in for Michael Kors. She looked like Kabuki death with her long black hair and shroud-like black dress.
Jeffrey describes his dress as "beautifully grotesque". Candy Kayne's dress is a Barbie Doll dream, it is bedazzled within an inch of it's life. There is too much detail in Malans dress, in fact judge Nina Garcia's comment was "what happened here?" I could see him reliving the pain of his mothers "you'll never make it" story from earlier in the show. Uli's dress was Greek Goddess beautiful. I noticed how Heidi raised an eyebrow when her model walked out.
The designers whose dresses scored high enough for them to move onto the next round are told they can leave the runway.
This leaves team Malan, Vincent, Candy Kayne and Uli. Each team is asked to defend their design. Uli does this with grace and poise. Candy Kayne gushes about his love affair with taffeta parfaits, Unicorns and rainbows. Malan blames the models physique, but I give him props for taking responsibility when all was said and done. Angela berates Vincent and thankfully the judges come to his defense. Either that or they're also afraid of him.
After a brief deliberation the judges agreed that Uli's Dress was the most modern and youthful. Tara loved Candy Kanye's dress for it's details- read garish. Nina remarked that Malan's dress looked unfinished. Remember folks, Nina has a thing for unfinished hems that dangle seamlessly above the ankle. Which in her world is the kiss of death.
The teams were called back and team Uli was told they were moving on to the next round. It came as no surprise that Candy Kanye's dress won as we know those southern girls like to celebrate prom forever. My pick would have been Uli, but then hey, what do I know? They too left the runway. Cuckoo Vincent was given a day pass and told he could stay. Katie too was told she could leave the runway and move forward. leaving Angela and Malan on the catwalk. When the camera panned away, I thought, what the hell is Angela wearing?! It looked like a fitted military jacket with a pink satin ruffled mini-skirt and striped stockings. Punked-out circus performer? WTF?!
Ultimately poor Malan was given the Auf Weidersen and I think I saw his mascara begin to run, when he said goodbye. It was sad. Like Anne Rice abandoning one of her vampire characters.
I can only hope that karma is a bitch and that Angela gets hers. Now that's some good tv!
Season three episode two began with the designers selecting their models. Poor Candace was the last one standing and asked to leave.
After this Heidi told the designers their challenge involved creating something for an American fashion icon. This icon was none other than Tara Connor last years recipient of Miss USA 2006. I would hardly call her a fashion icon, but this is must see tv folks, so they're going to paint some pretty broad brush strokes here.
The task was to design a gown for Tara as she was gearing up to enter the Miss Universe Pageant. Apparently Miss USA wasn't enough.
Candy Kayne practically lost his mind as chiffon and chintz are his thing. I wouldn't be surprised if he has a suitcase full of dolls that he brought with him, with whom he lines up and consults during each challenge. Jeffrey's observation of the whole Jon Benet Ramsay element was pretty funny too, but he needs to put his hood back up though. His tattooed neck scares me.
The designers began their sketches and subsequently presented them to Tara. During this, Angela cooked up a scheme where she thought it made perfect sense to bend the ear of prom dress designer extraordinaire Candy Kayne. Of course this completely shut him off and would subsequently bite her in the ass, but I'm getting ahead of myself here.
Time was up and the designers consulted with Tara to pitch their ideas. She looked completely amiss while speaking with Vincent, but that could have just been the editing. Then again, he's crazy as the day is long so maybe it wasn't.
Tim Gunn and Tara met with the designers and revealed the twist. They would be working in teams to create said pageant dress. One would be the lead designer and the second would be their assistant. Part of this challenge was to critique the designers on how well they worked together. Tara announced her picks for the lead designers and they are as follows: Laura, Uli, Candy Kanye, Vincent, Jeffrey, Malan and Keith.
Tim pulled out his magic velvet bag from which he randomly produced the names of the designers who had been chosen as leads. The team pairings were as follows:
Laura and Michael
Uli and Bonnie
Candy Kanye and Robert
Jeffrey and Alison
Malan and Katie
Keith and Bradley
Vincent and Angela
I loved the voiceover of Uli saying "I never verked in a team, I alvays do everything myself, I don't even know other designers" how very Marlene Dietrich.
The teams were given $300 and sent off to Mood fabrics. Of course Candy Kanye went for the iridescent chintz and glitz. Angela was bitter she had been paired with Vincent and attempted to micro-manage him.
The designers arrived back at Parsons where Angela and Vincent escalated their bickering.
Malan tells his Cinderella story of drawing dresses and showing them to his mother who belittles him and throws them on the floor. I picture him as a pasty faced little boy in a house with a big grandfather clock in the hallway.
They begin to place their fabrics on dress forms and Vincent tells Angela to back off at least three feet. If I were her I'd listen, he's certifiably cuckoo and armed with a pair of scissors quite possibly fatal.
Malan's dress is too heavy and looks like something out of a John Singer Sargent painting.
The next morning Tim Gunn with hands firmly on hips tells the designers to send the models off to hair and makeup. They will have three hours to send them through the L’Oréal Make-up room and the TRESemmé hair salon.
The models are prepped and judges revealed. Vera Wang is sitting in for Michael Kors. She looked like Kabuki death with her long black hair and shroud-like black dress.
Jeffrey describes his dress as "beautifully grotesque". Candy Kayne's dress is a Barbie Doll dream, it is bedazzled within an inch of it's life. There is too much detail in Malans dress, in fact judge Nina Garcia's comment was "what happened here?" I could see him reliving the pain of his mothers "you'll never make it" story from earlier in the show. Uli's dress was Greek Goddess beautiful. I noticed how Heidi raised an eyebrow when her model walked out.
The designers whose dresses scored high enough for them to move onto the next round are told they can leave the runway.
This leaves team Malan, Vincent, Candy Kayne and Uli. Each team is asked to defend their design. Uli does this with grace and poise. Candy Kayne gushes about his love affair with taffeta parfaits, Unicorns and rainbows. Malan blames the models physique, but I give him props for taking responsibility when all was said and done. Angela berates Vincent and thankfully the judges come to his defense. Either that or they're also afraid of him.
After a brief deliberation the judges agreed that Uli's Dress was the most modern and youthful. Tara loved Candy Kanye's dress for it's details- read garish. Nina remarked that Malan's dress looked unfinished. Remember folks, Nina has a thing for unfinished hems that dangle seamlessly above the ankle. Which in her world is the kiss of death.
The teams were called back and team Uli was told they were moving on to the next round. It came as no surprise that Candy Kanye's dress won as we know those southern girls like to celebrate prom forever. My pick would have been Uli, but then hey, what do I know? They too left the runway. Cuckoo Vincent was given a day pass and told he could stay. Katie too was told she could leave the runway and move forward. leaving Angela and Malan on the catwalk. When the camera panned away, I thought, what the hell is Angela wearing?! It looked like a fitted military jacket with a pink satin ruffled mini-skirt and striped stockings. Punked-out circus performer? WTF?!
Ultimately poor Malan was given the Auf Weidersen and I think I saw his mascara begin to run, when he said goodbye. It was sad. Like Anne Rice abandoning one of her vampire characters.
I can only hope that karma is a bitch and that Angela gets hers. Now that's some good tv!
posted by Chris at 6:37 AM
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