Muffin Madness

I have an odd fascination with many things, one of them being the word "muffin". My fixation ran rampant when I lived in Buffalo and was shared by my then roommate Lisa. I had a bulletin board where I would pin up a variety of paper bags with the word muffin on it. Keep in mind that this was the late 80's and muffins were trumping bagels as the morning snack of choice until the truly unhealthful benefits of eating one became shameful. My obsession did not lie in the muffin itself, but in a humorous metaphor for a woman's vagina.

Anyhow, I have never understood why someone insists on wearing an article of clothing which reveals an unsightly midriff that rolls over the edge of their pants just like the top of a muffin sits over the edge of its paper case. I had heard the phrase "muffin top" before, but was blissfully unaware that this look had already been coined by Australian comediennes Kath&Kim.

As a tall apelike woman was exiting my place of employment this evening I saw that garish bulge of pasty skin as she was coming down the escalator. I turned to walk away and overheard a co-worker use a variation which I prefer much better. He called it a "muffin roll".

So if you should find yourself puzzled and in a similar scenario but just couldn't find an appropriate turn of phrase, try "muffin roll" on for size and you just might find you have the right fit.