bull.in.a.china.shop

Recently during a mild and temperate winter's day I happened to be passing by the acupuncture clinic by our home. We live in a predominately Vietnamese neighborhood and this clinic is what I'd describe as upscale for our neighborhood.

I decided to pop in and see if they would accept my health care plan as I was curious about the benefits of acupuncture. I explained to the therapist behind the counter that i had been experiencing some discomfort in my shoulder and wanted to know if this treatment could provide relief. He filled out what looked like a very colorful bingo card with a list of times and dates and handed it back to me. All I saw was that the total amount of therapy would cost $6,000.

I thanked him, told him I would have to take this into some consideration and left. When I went outside there was a commotion in the parking lot next to the clinic. A group of Asians were preparing for what appeared to be an impromptu parade complete with a dragon.

I went to grab my cell phone and realized I had taken the wrong one when I left the house. I knew it was Kringle's as it was in the shape of a cartoon lion with the face cut out so you could see the incoming call. I found our number and called Wally and David to let them know I had Kringle's phone and to ask Wally to bring me mine.

I got our answering machine which has me singing a message to the tune of Madonna's "Express Yourself". Every time I hear this I cringe and think of how I need to change it. The machine clicks on and I hear myself singing a couple of verse which then switches to another voice singing a Bee Gee's song. I immediately mutter "Catty" under my breath and put that in my to do list of things to ask Wally about.

Exasperated, I decide since I'm not far from home and it's such a nice day, I would ride my bike to work. As I'm getting my bike out I run into Wally and David and explain how I have Kringle's phone and did they see mine to which Wally replies No, but he'll look for it. I ask them if they knew about the parade as I know Wally would want to take pictures.

I kiss Wally goodbye and head out the door. By this time there are a lot of people gathered on the street to watch the parade and so I have no choice but to ride my bike along the parade route. Hoping I'll avoid it, I end up getting caught in it. As is typical of Chicago weather the day has gone gray and it begins to rain. I am following my bike up Argyle and into a warehouse with the rest of the parade.

One of the performers crashes into a fruit stand in the warehouse knocking over some of the fruit which appears to be mostly rotten. The vendor tells this performer that he owes him $20 to which he and the man get into an argument that he is selling rotten fruit and...then I woke up.

The end.