Never Been Kissed

The season finale of 8th & Ocean was simply fabulous. Seeing Irene Marie in a track suit was worth it alone. I cannot wait for next season to begin. Such mindless reality television , dramatic relationships and remarkably stupid individuals in the form of mimbo Vinci, who is surprisingly scant during this episode. As a special treat, this all you can eat drama buffet ended with some good old sibling rivalry via Sabrina and Kelly.

The episode begins with the girls talking about whether or not they've ever had to kiss someone as part of a shoot before. Britt says that had to straddle a boy and pretend that they were in bed, but never had to kiss someone before as that is not the good Christian way to be. lol.

Briana shares her kissing story by telling the girls that she did a shoot for 'Glamour' magazine where she kissed two boys only to find out later that the image was used for an article titled 'How to Win the War on STD's'. Hot. Not.

Heide and Teddy are at the beach. Teddy wants to make it clear to Heide that they are 'just friends'. I think this is because he knows that you can't play a player and Heide's hotness eclipses his. He tells her that he's not into a relationship with anyone, that he wants to spread the Teddy around, blah, blah, blah. Of course this is him simply following the male order of things, Teddy still wants Britt because nothing makes a boy crazier than what he can't have.

That night, the girls are having cocktails at the Models Apartment. Kelly and Sabrina tell the girls that they're shooting an Acuvue commercial together.

Later at a bar, the girls discuss who has the best features of the people they live with. Briana says that if she could take anything from anyone, it would be Talesha's rack. She also says that it's impossible for Sabrina to take a bad photograph. Interesting how a few episodes prior it looked like the writing was on the wall for poor Sabrina, but the modeling world is like that apparently. Ah, what vanity is youth.

Bi-polar Kelly reluctantly agrees, throwing an arm around her twin sister saying she's the skinniest person she knows. What is that supposed to mean?! I honestly think coming from Kelly it was some sort of twin mind-fuck game, because believe you and me Kelly is an evil saboteur.

The following day, Britt goes to a casting for a fragrance called 'Madly in Love.' The photographers want Britt to act all hootchie with some hot blonde guy named Tyler. Britt has no trouble getting down and dirty with him, but draws the line at kissing. After her soft-core session with Tyler she learns the photographers want her hootch out with one more guy. Of course this guy is someone she already knows- Teddy.

The photographers are glad to learn Britt and Teddy know each other, because they feel it's easier to turn it on it with someone you know. Little do they know that hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, let alone a girl of virtue from Kansas. The test is completely awkward and the photographers recognize this and dismiss the two after a few clicks.

Britt runs to Talesha to confess her sins, um I mean tests. Of course she'd get it on with Tyler, but not Teddy. Talesha laughs at this and says something like 'Teddy's Dreams Came True'. Of course Britt is scared that if Teddy gets cast that he will kiss her and there will be nothing she can do to stop it. After all there is a price for everything and you do not want to disappoint Irene Marie.

In the spirit of damage control, Britt goes to the agency the following day and tells Suzy that she just couldn't possibly do the shoot if it involved kissing. "I don't think you're going to be, like, tonguing some dude," Suzy says. To clarify Britt explains that she wouldn't feel comfortable kissing Teddy which further confuses Suzy. Britt says that since Teddy is so close to home she doesn't want to exacerbate an already awkward situation.

In perfectly logical order the next scene involves a conversation between Teddy and Sean. Teddy says Britt and Tyler looked really good together, but Britt was really awkward when she had to work with him. "Women are funny like that, man," Sean says. Sean tells Teddy he needs to let Britt know he's not with Heide any more. That way she can see him in a different light.

Cut to the twins arguing. They are en route to the Acuvue commercial shoot and they are running late. Kelly berates Sabrina for this because of course it's always her fault. During the ride to the shoot, Allee calls and tells them they'll be shooting both double and single shots. Once they arrive, the twins bat their eyes and apologize for their tardiness. While in hair and makeup Sabrina takes a call from the agency about a job with Dillard's, which she really wants. You can almost see a black cloud forming over Kelly's head as she hears this.

After several shots together, the client asks to see the Polaroids: "Let me see the Polaroids. It makes such a difference when you see the Polaroids." The client decides that Sabrina is the star of the shoot, and tells the photographer she wants to concentrate on her. The photographer then tells the twins it's time for some single shots, which prompts Kelly to tell Sabrina "I don't think you have a singles." Hello, Bitter party of one. The photographer tells Kelly she will be photographing Sabrina. During Sabrina's shoot, Kelly pouts and tries to use her death ray on her sister by having a silent tantrum.

Back at the agency, Suzy takes a call from Dillard's, they want to book Kelly over Sabrina for their next shoot, even though they had an option on Sabrina and not on Kelly. As Suzy says, Sabrina is going to freak out, since Kelly just took over her client. I think Kelly must have given someone a hummer to clinch the deal.

When Suzy calls to break the news, Kelly can't believe they want her and not Sabrina. Neither can Sabrina. Of course, Kelly can't help but rub it in and laugh at her twin. Because she will take any opportunity she can to play upon her sisters already fragile emotions.

Sabrina is truly upset, but Kelly brushes this off and turns the reverse psychology on Sabrina by saying that she should be happy for her. When Sabrina says that she's not and is beginning to wonder if she will have a solo career Kelly plays into this by saying 'maybe you won't.'

Later, while driving somewhere, Sabrina gets a phone call. She tells the mystery caller that she's supposed to have dinner with Kelly later, but on second thought, scratch dinner. She's sick of being with her sister. And then the camera swings over to reveal Kelly's sitting in the passenger seat. Bring it on bitches. Kelly tells Sabrina that she is the one being negative, not her. 'Leave me alone!' Sabrina yells back. 'I can be negative.' Kelly says she's just being a bitch right now. They continue airing their dirty laundry for a few more minutes finally agreeing that they're both sick of each other, and they need to spend some time apart. Ha. Irene Marie's evil plan is working.

Just when you think it can't get any better, the vacancy in the female models apartment left by Tracie, who you know is going to fail like Irene Cara's screen test in 'Fame' is revealed. The model is...Heide. Simply sublime if you ask me. Wow, it really is hard to be a model. lol.