Made in China

WTF is going on in China!? Earlier this week a giant panda gave birth to the heaviest cub born in captivity and elsewhere twin pandas each gave birth to twins. The name giant panda somehow doesn't seem to fit. It is not really giant, but I suppose due to its cuteness factor, we wouldn't call it the black and white fatty bear. Apparently human babies are not the only ones being born super-sized as of late.

It has been reported that the birth of pandas in captivity is extremely rare due to the fact that female pandas only ovulate once a year and have a 24 to 48 hour window to do the dirty. This combined with the fact that most of their time is occupied by consuming bamboo shoots and sleeping make this even more unique.

After seeing pictures of this baby, I cannot imagine the prolonged labor being any better or worse than the sensation of a slow bowel movement for the panda mommy. In relative terms I would compare it to the aptly named foot long 'porn dog' on a stick that I consumed at the North Hasted Street Market Days street fair coming out of my ass undigested. I wouldn't like it, but I could do it.

In other Chinese news, not to be outdone by the Japanese robot, Asimo, a newly-created 'beauty' robot named Rong Cheng sits on display at the Institute of Automation of Chinese Academy of Sciences in Beijing. Pronounced, I'm not kidding here Wrong-Cheng, her moniker sounds suspiciously close to wrong change. She is equipped with cutting-edge technology in human-to-robot interaction and responds to human voices. Her face, made of glass fibre reinforced plastic, incorporates the beautiful facial characteristics of cover girls. And her eyes can move!

Her predecessors Pang Pang and Fei Fei only had cartoon faces. No images were available of these two, sorry.

Hello. I mean isn't Carol Channing a robot? She can sing, dance and is almost lifelike too.

Rong Cheng costs around 300,000 yuan (37,500 U.S. dollars). Although the cost could be lowered to less than 100,000 yuan if they mass produce 100 robots each year. A real value compared to the million dollar price tag connected to the Japanese Asimo.

Freaky shit.