if.life.gives.you.lemons
This morning I popped into the grocery store to purchase a bottle of Smart Water. I really don't think the electrolytes do anything for me, but damn if I'm not a sucker for its sleek design.
As I only had the bottle of water I headed to the self-checkout lane. Standing in front of me was a man who was tilting a bottle of Simply Lemonade upside down and then right side up. I assumed at first that he was getting ready to checkout too, but soon realized he was all crazy. He continued to do this with the bottle until it began to leak on the floor.
I moved to the next lane over as a large black woman (employed by the store) came over and asked this man to please stop. He replied "stop what?". She didn't like this response and turned to her co-worker and asked her to call security.
While this was happening, a woman in front of me (I had moved to a cashier operated lane) piped up, "if I were you I'd call the police". I was beginning to get uncomfortable quickly as she continued loudly. "I have to buy for two" she continued. I glanced at the items she had placed on the belt. Smoked salmon on one side separated with by a roll of pink toilet paper, a can of cat food and two single serve sized bottles of Sutter Home White Zinfandel (also pink).
Instinctively I thought, oh shit, here we go. By this time, I don't know where the man went, I was too absorbed in the ranting of the crazy in front of me, I mean all of her food was pink. She was saying that the man who had been spilling his Lemonade on the floor obviously had a defective bottle and why couldn't anyone else see that and that this grocery store was a corporation and they probably have deep pockets and could afford to be sued.
The cashier finished ringing up the woman who then moved to the front of the store and continued rambling. At this point I was able to turn her off, purchase my bottle of water and exit, grateful that today was not my day to be holding the Lemonade.
As I only had the bottle of water I headed to the self-checkout lane. Standing in front of me was a man who was tilting a bottle of Simply Lemonade upside down and then right side up. I assumed at first that he was getting ready to checkout too, but soon realized he was all crazy. He continued to do this with the bottle until it began to leak on the floor.
I moved to the next lane over as a large black woman (employed by the store) came over and asked this man to please stop. He replied "stop what?". She didn't like this response and turned to her co-worker and asked her to call security.
While this was happening, a woman in front of me (I had moved to a cashier operated lane) piped up, "if I were you I'd call the police". I was beginning to get uncomfortable quickly as she continued loudly. "I have to buy for two" she continued. I glanced at the items she had placed on the belt. Smoked salmon on one side separated with by a roll of pink toilet paper, a can of cat food and two single serve sized bottles of Sutter Home White Zinfandel (also pink).
Instinctively I thought, oh shit, here we go. By this time, I don't know where the man went, I was too absorbed in the ranting of the crazy in front of me, I mean all of her food was pink. She was saying that the man who had been spilling his Lemonade on the floor obviously had a defective bottle and why couldn't anyone else see that and that this grocery store was a corporation and they probably have deep pockets and could afford to be sued.
The cashier finished ringing up the woman who then moved to the front of the store and continued rambling. At this point I was able to turn her off, purchase my bottle of water and exit, grateful that today was not my day to be holding the Lemonade.
posted by Chris at 7:51 AM
3 Comments:
never a dull moment at jewel
I totally agree. Although it had this eeriness to it this morning that surely should have clued me in.
1) electrolytes do help you. a nurse told me that. she was an er nurse, but you...a real one. not a fake tv one.
2) that guy seemed harmless. who doesnt wanna tip lemonade now and then?
3) if i were only to eat one color food, itd obviously be orange. lifejacket flourescent orange.
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