It's The Shit

Wonders never cease. That crazy company Mattel is at it again. Wally went to the Barbie website this morning to find a decent pic of this, but only found a small one which I mistook for blind barbie with her seeing eye dog. As you can see, she's armed with a magnetic pooper-scooper and dustbin to clean up the mess.

The latest Barbie accessory, Tanner the labrador, makes faux "poop" when fed brown plastic “biscuits”. Apparently Mattel couldn't devise a way to have the "treats" go in looking one way and coming out looking another way. Which means Tanner is clearly eating his own excrement. Plastic or not, that's kind of gross, but not so far from the truth.

Mattel has also produced a promotional video of Barbie and Tanner playing in the park where you can see him do his thang. I can only imagine the board meeting that greenlit this project into reality.

Fascinating!

Quelle Couture

Episode nine of Projekt Klumway begins with the designers gathered in the Parsons Paris workroom. Catherine Malandrino prefaces the next challenge. She begins by telling them that they are in Paris the capital of fashion, capital of couture. With the assistance of Tim Gunn the task at hand is to create a look that employs the elements of couture techniques. They will be given two days and $375 to spend on fabric.

After these details are disclosed you can almost hear a collective sigh as Tim tells them to freshen up at their hotel as they are going to the Moulin Rouge. Actually they're going to dinner at some fabulous Parisian Cafe. They walk through courtyard of the Louvre and we hear Michael say that it opened his eyes in a whole new way. Did he discover a french tickler?

At dinner, Tim toasts to the designers success and Candy Kayne gives props to Jeffrey's first win. Which I thought was really big of him. Mon dieur is that a glass of wine I see in mama Laura's goblet? I guess she wasn't kidding about not letting motherhood stand in her way. I knew there was something I liked about her.

Poof! It's the next morning and day one of the challenge. Laura interviews that there is always a lot at stake at this level of the competition as the remaining designers are the best talent from the group. Obviously she wasn't including Vincent, Jeffrey or Candy Kayne which she has had some choice words to say about in previous episodes. For the sake of good television, I'll go with it.

Tim takes them to Sacré Coeur to find inspiration and sketch. Michael admits that he is unfamiliar with designing a couture dress. Cuckoo Vincent on the other hand knows couture like the back of his hand and procedes to get turned on. I think I saw him giggling while he was doing one of his lollipop head sketches.

The designers go shopping at Reine, the French equivalent of Mood. They have an hour to shop and Tim, in the role of parent, proceeds to dole out their allowance and instructs them to use their money wisely as couture fabrics ain't cheap.

Laura's a bit spooked at picking out fabrics in a store she isn't familiar with. Uli is toning it down by choosing more subdued colors. Jeffrey is going for the gusto with a vibrant plaid. He interviews that his inspiration was the Statue of Liberty and that he wants to be the first designer to score a win while also having immunity.

They arrive back at Parsons Paris where Tim tells them to familiarize themselves with the models they will be provided for this challenge. Each designer has a card on their table with the picture of a beautiful European girl. Tim reminds them that their dresses will also need to be transported back to New York and be fitted on those models too. He then says something French which must translate into his catch phrase "Make it Work".

There are eight hours left in the first workday, so Uli wastes no time and goes straight to her dress form. She interviews that she has decided to not use any crazy patterns or colors for this look.

Laura's goal is to vamp up the classic black dress.

Michael interviews that he has a lot of hand sewing to do, so he plans on keeping the bottom of the dress simple.

We then see Candy Kayne with some gold fabric. He tells Laura that this dress is going to be really good and that it's exactly the type of dress he would make for one of his top pageant girls. Laura responds by saying that he should avoid going for the pageant look as that's not what this challenge is about. She interviews that Candy Kayne can't help himself when it comes to the Vegas style embellishments he employs.

Vincent interviews some crazy talk about the pattern will look couture, the pattern will fold beautifully, blah, blah, blah. He looked like a fish gasping for air as he circled around his form with pins in his mouth. I half expected him to say bibity bobbity boo. Laura makes a witty remark about him being a legend in his own mind and with that, it's the end of day one.

Trannie Get your Gun

This morning I rode the Red Line "L" with Wally and noticed someone of interest sitting across from us. It was hard to discern what gender this person was as they were wearing a loosely gathered scarf around their neck which made the whole vision more complex.

It occurred to me that they reminded me of Mrs. Doubtfire and Dustin Hoffman's character Tootsie. So I affectionately dubbed them Toostie Doubtfire.

Back To Basics

The air coming in through the windows of my apartment is delightfully cool. It feels like the first blush of fall is upon us. This could be why I enjoy the weather of San Francisco so much, at least when its not raining. I like going to bed and having it be cool enough to cudddle and sleep without having to use air conditioning, but warm enough during the day where you can walk around in jeans and a t-shirt.

Yesterday evening Mr. Wright and I took a stroll down Broadway Ave. with the mission of purchasing "Lullaby" by Chuck Palahniuk. He belongs to a small book club and I do love myself a good read, if only I could pull myself away from the computer long enough to read. I should seriously consider a twelve step program.

We passed by the recently opened American Apparel store, which reminds me of the Champion Outlet store I went to with my mom and sister when I was growing up. That was back in the day when iron on transfers were the shit. I clearly remember a long-sleeved baseball-t that had yellow sleeves with a black and gold glittery king tut death mask on it.

I thought that place was a hole, but find it interesting that it has again become chic to offer basics. I told Mr. Wright that I had contemplated an anti-graphic t movement by integrating solid colored basics into my wardrobe- as I am a trend-setter. ha! ha! Of course I never did this, but I did think about it.